Listen Closely

If you're a hot babe, you probably have to deal with schleps like these guys trying to hit on you all the time. A good way to prevent them from having to talk closely in your ear in a loud bar is to clearly demonstrate that yes, you can hear them - they don't need to lean in closer. This girl is kind of driving the point into the ground, but she's got a good idea going.


Thanks to Merlin for the photo!

Fun Guy

Oh, a Halloween party? Well, I'll just don my sombero and bring a few of my favorite beer jugs! My, these cupcakes are festive!

Perms

Why don't ladies get perms anymore? It's such a perfect way to announce you love a good time. No one has ever cried in a perm. Think about it.



Thanks to Luke for sending me pics of his high school buddies. Luke, I hope you hit at least one of these.

Party's Over, Wall Street

Yesterday's New York Times has an article about the extravagant company retreats ($23,000 in spa charges!) and lavish spending at A.I.G., and I couldn't help but thinking, "duh". Everyone knows Wall Street guys are the worst partiers - overgrown fratboys in ill-fitting blue button down shirts who are only a million dollar bonus away from a kegstand.

As I was reading, it occurred to me that there's got to be a lot of pictures on Flickr of these chillwads partying it up, banker-style, back in happier days. A quick search for "Lehman Brothers" yielded images relating to their recent troubles, but when I sorted by most recently posted photos, and skipped back to the spring 2008, and voila - the sweet memories started rolling in of the good times and the volitile explosion of an expense account ignited by a douchebag attitude. Fellas, it looks like you were writing some party checks you couldn't cash.

The salad days, my friends: (please, save your tears for the end)

Lehman Brothers party:

Theodore Roosevelt IV, Managing Director of Lehman Brothers:


A.I.G. yachting in France:


A.I.G. Sponsored Lunch with John Legend:


Morgan Stanley employees (what did I say about ill-fitting blue shirts?):


Bear Stearns:


You can see how hard these guy are straining to keep themselves from doing a beer bong at the Morgan Stanley Christmas party:


Ouch - looks like this guy couldn't make it through the Morgan Stanley party without getting on the table to dance:

Bonfire of the Vanities

My genitals already have an intense burning sensation, so I try extra hard to keep them away from open flame. Although, I guess there's more than one way to skin a cat, and there's more than one way to burn off your warts.

The Redder the Berry, the Harder the Lemonade

Sir, I applaud your efforts to stave off that impending urinary tract infection by slogging down as much cranberry juice as possible. However, I'm not really sure Cranberry Mike's Hard Lemonade actually contains the actual healing powers you're looking for. Also, ditching those constricting bacteria-net Spanx you're wearing under your pants might help reduce infection.


Thanks to Bree for sending me this pic.

Weekend at Bernadette's