The Shining: Beer Cans

Remember that scene in The Shining where the beautiful naked lady comes out of the bathtub, and Jack Nicholson starts making out with her, and then she turns into a hideous old rotting woman? These two photos from the same party are basically that same scene, but with beer instead of babes. Just as seductive, and just as horrifying.

The succulent, nubile tub of cold ones:


The horror of the pile of trash in your stairwell the next day:

Keg Gremlins

A house party with a keg, what with its opportunity for getting semi-nude and behaving inappropriately in a relatively consequence-free environment, can transform a normal human into an panty-clad werebeast. It's like if you get a mogawi wet or feed it after midnight and it turns into a gremlin.

Cowabunga!

Thanks to Pete for the photo.

It's Not Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiirr!!!!!!!!!!

Looks like someone told this guy it was his turn for a beer run.

No Shirt, No Service

This is another photo where the description on its Flickr page really makes it interesting:

"...once there was no more memory on the camera, the man in the middle stripped, popped a stiffy and ran about the house."



Thanks to Katherine again for the photo.

Fuck All Y'all

Some girls don't need the Milton Bradley box of drinking games to tell them how to party.

Pool Cleaner's Worst Nightmares

There are so many rusty trombones about to occur in both of these photos.

Problems

There are so many uncool things happening in this party picture, trying to name them all is like a game of erotic photohunt but without the bad photoshopped tits.

Bachelorette Party

It's funny, you wouldn't peg these ladies as the type to hire a black little person stripper. This is really uncomfortable on a lot of levels. GET IT? Different levels?

Oy vey.




(Thanks, Mitch.)

I Have A Dream

See, I don't see race or gender when I look at a person. I just see a person. So to me, when I first saw this photo, I was confused because I thought I was seeing triple of one person in this photo, like some crazy photoshopping effect. Turns out, I was seeing double because I'm stoned out of my mind, but that's neither here nor there.

Burka/Tie-Dye Dance Party

Which do you think this is: the Chicken Noodle Soup or the Soulja Boy?

Sorry I Didn't Help You Clean Up the Next Day

Actually, I'm not sorry at all. What a nightmare.

Ice House Rules

You'd think at least this guy would be drinking Sam Adams, but no. Have you ever actually seen anyone ever drink a Sam Adams at a party? Me neither. It's total dad beer. Until you sire a child (knowingly), you can still drink shitty domestic beer. Once you have kids, you instantly crave Sam Adams and you can never drink Icehouse again.

I Hate Beer Pong, part 2

Another problem with beer pong is it requires you to concentrate really hard when you're drunk. There's only two things I can concentrate on when I'm drunk and they are:
A) how can I get laid
B) where's my other shoe

Look at the intensity in this guy's furrowed brow and steely glare. He looks like he's about to pull an epic daredevil Jenga block removal. The only time I concentrate that hard is when popping bacne.


Via

Swedish Midsommar Parties

This photo is from this weekend's Midsommar holiday in Sweden. I think Midsommar is kind of like the 4th of July where you drink all day and eat a lot of food outside.

It's got to be hard to be the chubby guy in Sweden, right? All your other blond, svelte friends look great shirtless, and you'll left staring at the empty bag of boxed wine, wishing you could crawl inside and hide your manboobs.


Via

Party Trooper

A good party guest is that really low maintenance person who you never have to worry if she's having a good time. Some people spend a whole party texting on the cell phone to find out where the next party that's better and more fun is going to be, or asking you if there's any beer in the fridge that they can take.

The ideal laid-back party guest can strike up a conversation with anyone, brings her own case of Colt 45, and doesn't even mind if a hobo-lady happens to pass out in her lap. If only you could rent this girl out to have at your next function.

Beer Fairy

This guy really understands how simple social dynamics at a party are. You can look like the biggest weirdo out there, but as long as you're bringing the beer, you're everyone's best friend.

Bud Lite

Didn't the old Bud Lite cans look so much better? That's the kind of can design you would want to print on a bikini. Now it looks like Nestea, or some NASCAR-themed energy drink. Actually, I guess Bud Lite kind of is a energy drink for NASCAR fans, in a way, right?

Smell My Finger

How much more clear can this guy make it that he does NOT want to smell your finger?

Unappreciated

It's heartbreaking when you're trying to get Chad's attention, but he's more interesting in his stupid beer bong than you. And you're left standing there, in your underwear. Welcome to every day of my life.