Here's a Riddle

Q: What do you get if you cross Adam Duritz of Counting Crows with your period?

A: This guy:

Self Fulfilling Prophecy

If you were going to guess that someone at a party was going to piss their pants, you'd never in a million years pick the guy who was wearing a Budweiser shirt, right?

His friends who are giving the finger to the camera are the ravens in the sky that Tiresias reads as omens to mean this guy will never escape his destined fate.

No Shoes, No Skirt, No Service

The description on this photo reads: "I sat in Janelle's puke. So I took my skirt off on the street. Now it lives on a sidewalk somewhere in LA".

Whoa - I think I just got the best new idea for how to get girl's skirts off. Just make them sit in your puke. WATCH OUT LADIES, I GOT NEW MOVES!


Thanks to Matt for this picture, which is unclear if it contains pubes or not.

Party Pooped

Aw, someone needs a nap!

Drunk Jenga

This photo is pretty blurry, so it's a little hard to make out, but it's a guy passed out over a toilet bowl, and his friends have stacked an array of bathroom items onto his back while he slept. The height of the tower is what's impressive to me. Also that the tags on this photo were Leslie's Wedding and puke.

Worst Party Cleanup

Thanks to Ashley for the pic.

A Pretty Chill Party

The beer is cold, and so is the guy in the tub.

Hawaiian Shirt

He just caught a glimpse of his shirt in the mirror and immediately started puking.

Pukestream

What you are seeing is the tragic face of a man who is just watching his hopes for a HJ get filled with barf.

Letting It All Hang Out

This photo shows the downside to duct taping 40oz Colt 45s to your hands: You have to leave your pants unbuckled and unzipped because you can't undo them yourself to pee.

I assume he had to have a friend unzip it for him the first time he realized he had to use the bathroom. True friendship, or the start of something new?

Spaghetti Vomit

Someone just emailed me this picture they took of their friend who had passed out drunk. After this picture was taken, he threw up a spaghetti dinner. Have you ever seen someone throw up spaghetti? It's one of the most disgusting things you can throw up, because the noodle strands get caught halfway in your throat and you have to huck them out. Plus, it retains its form, so it still looks exactly like a delicious bowl of spaghetti, but served up in your toilet.

As if this poor guy hasn't suffered enough.

Shamrock Shake

A SHAMROCK??? Your friend passes out on the floor and the best thing you can think of to draw on his face is a shamrock???? For shame! Have you never heard of penises and swastikas?


Via

Ralphing

It's a very common thing for serious athletes to vomit after a hard training session. At a competitive level, this is nothing uncommon for swimmers or marathon runners. For this guy, there's no shame in ralphing after finishing that 5k bike race to benefit feline HIV.

Especially if you're like most top-level athletes and you eschew Gatorade or plain water for the real athlete's secret - Mad Dog 20/20. Lance Armstrong drinks it like mother's milk, I'm sure.

I just don't understand where the bedpan came from.

WHO FARTED?

Party Barf

Oh no! Don't get any on your awesome pink and black striped tights!!

Q: When is it not a good idea to do another keg stand?

A: When you've already pissed your pants.

If only for the sake of your friends who have to lift you.

Showin' you my "O" Face

"O" as in "ouch".

The guy in the white shirt is as repulsed as his wrist is limp. Thanks to Rachel for the pic.

Kiddie Pool Party

Not too long ago, I filled up a kiddie pool in my tiny backyard and had a party. It was a little awkard, but a lot of fun. I didn't empty the pool for weeks, so the fetid water just sat there, festering with bacteria. When I finally drained it out, it was one of the worst smells I've ever smelled. 100% worth it though.

PETA Warning

I used to have roommates who had a dog, and one time my friend fed the dog some frozen daiquiri and it got confused and peed on the bed. It was kind of funny, but in the end we all just felt sorry for the poor dog who was kind of upset and confused.

The dog's name was Sophie, which is coincidentally the same name of the dog in this photo (according to the title "Sophie goes chug chug chug").

Point is, giving a dog booze is really stupid. But I'll admit it's kind of funny when it's a poodle.

Aging gracefully

I can't wait to be old. In my mind, I'm hoping I'll look debonair and classy, and attend mature soirees like this:



God, I just hope it's not like this:



** Update: Turns out the second photo is a staged photo by David LaChappelle. I'm a little bummed that it's staged, but I'm still leaving it up. I just like it that much anyway.