A Serious Case of Blue Balls

Horny Smurf:

Thanks to Haig who just sent me a billion photos for this one.

Obama Costumes: The Blackface Question

I wasn't surprised at all to see tons of photos of people dressed as Sarah Palin for Halloween, and I wasn't surprised to see relatively few people dressed as Obama. I think several reasons factored in:

a) it reflects the disproportional interest in Sarah Palin in this election
b) more women than men dress up for Halloween because women are creative and interesting and men are boring and lazy
c) the sticky situation for white people of how to dress up as a black person without crossing the offensive line into blackface

Sure, there's a big difference between using makeup to achieve a verisimilitude to famous and respected African-American person and the incredible racist connotations of classic minstrel blackface. But yet... it does still feel weird, right? I assume that along the road of having our first black president, there will be many moments where issues of race will have to be faced and resolved. One of these first ones is going to be "is it ok to wear black makeup to imitate our president?" Imitating our president is an inalienable American right and revered tradition, and a cornerstone of our national comedy. In order to move on as a country, the black makeup issue has to be resolved once and for all.

Here's a few brave souls who were willing to test the waters in this new frontier. Trailblazers holding an olive branch, or provocateurs who deserve a punch in the face?




This one is clever, but skirts the issue:


F.Y.I. this last photo is titled "Negro Muggers for Obama" and has "scary negro" as one of the tags. I guess we still have a long way to go. Sigh...

If you sinking into a deep depression over that last photo, please just stare at this insane cuteness below, and you'll instantly feel better. Obama and a Unicorn:

UPDATE: It has been brought to my attention that the "scary negro mugger" is actually in reference to the story of the crazed McCain supporter who claimed to have been attacked by Obama supporters, but really did it to herself. It's actually a pretty clever costume to dress up as the fictitious mugger dreamed up by the crazy girl.

Dressing As Yourself for Halloween

The whole point of a Halloween costume is dressing as something other than yourself. Here, I just see a fat ugly guy, an Asian woman, and a typical white guy.

Fuck Off, I Can Stand On My Own

That's literally what this photo was titled on Flickr.



These guys look so clearly British, they might as well put this photo on the pound note.

Asian Twinks

WTF? I thought that it was only old gay men who were into young Asian twinks. Lezbos too?!

Odd Couple

Of the many things that confuse and horrify me, the one that's really spine tingling is that the title of this photo was "Big dad and the birthday girl".

Coming Out Parties

In case you missed it because you were hiding in your closet of shame and self-hate, yesterday was National Coming Out Day. And while I commend the bravery of any young person who has the self-possesion to look in their parents' eyes and say "I'm mostly into leather daddies", there's another kind of Coming Out party that is even gayer. I'm talking about quinceneras, the Spanish version of Sweet 16 but for a girl's 15th birthday, and with even bigger, more poufy, and gayer dresses.

Judge for yourself if this isn't the gayest gala ever.









Felicidades, my LGBT friends.

Perfect Refreshing Chug

Everything about this photo is so perfect, if I never saw another picture of an Indian guy chugging a low-carb beer, I could die happy. It's like looking at the Sistine Chapel.

Nazi Beer Pong

Somewhere, Elie Weisel wakes up in the middle of the night with a start and whispers, "we didn't teach the next generation enough."


Thanks to Sam from weekendpartyupdate.com for the picture of his Holocaust undenying friends.

Jaeger Geisha

Polio once had a party and drank a whole bottle of Jaegermeister and barfed all over his roof (sorry Polio). At this same party, I was waiting in line for the bathroom and noticed a used condom lying just outside the bathroom door. I pointed this out to the guy behind me in line. He picked it up, smiled at me, and then slingshotted it like a rubber band across the room, splattering partygoers with semen. I found out that guy died by falling off a roof at a party a few months later.

When you think about how much pain and death and suffering there is in this world, don't you just wish you had a bikini-clad Asian woman to pour enough booze down your gullet to blot all the horror away for even just a little while?

Party Crew

"You Embarrassed Me at My Sister's Wedding!!"

Relationship dealbreaker in progress.

Where There's Smoke, There's Fire

Well, usually that's true. But in this case, there's no fire, just a bunch of bored Indians in Teva sandals.

My Big Fat Chinese Wedding

This is one of my favorite awkward party photo situations - the wedding when a white guy marries an Asian woman and he dresses up in traditional Asian garb for their wedding. The things we'll do for love/yellow fever, eh?

Straw Hats

Total relaxation.

It's not a contest.

It always sucks when a host doesn't have enough mixers. You end up making like a Sprite and tequila around 1am. Or this:

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

You only need one of the following items to have a great time: Pinatas, sombreros, and novelty-sized frozen drinks. But all 3 on one day? Only the Mexicans could have dreamed of a combination so sweet.







Put all 3 together, and you have this guy. Just livin' the dream:

15.

Sorry I Missed Your Quinceanera.

1997 was a great year for diversity

Look at this: you have a asian raver, a fat Indian, a lesbian, and a slutty fly-girl. Only in the late dot-com era could you amass this kind of diverse party for a quick bong rip in the urbanfetch.com stairwell.

Nordic party competition

I think the most acceptable form of xenophobia or ethnic hatred is when people from European countries hate each other, especially Scandinavian countries. My good Swedish friend insists that Norwegians are stupid and Finns are deranged slobs. It's kind of adorable, really.

But it does raise a good question - which Scandinavian country parties better - Sweden or Norway?
Let's find out:

Norwegian elk hunting party:



Swedish bikini rave:


And the surprise winner is........ U.S.A.! I might be biased, but let's face it: the "Crawfish Party" the Swedish Club of Tampa Bay party is best. It's just unbeatable.