Being Secretive on the Internet

What I find most fascinating about party pictures on Flickr is that people are completely willing to make their photos totally public to anyone with an internet connection, especially since many party pictures show bad behavior or questionable judgment. I don't want to sound like a fuddyduddy, but teenagers really have to step their game up in the hiding-secrets-from-your-parents front. It's not like the internet is some secret playground your parents have never heard of.

On Flickr, I see at lot of pictures of teenagers drinking in what is clearly their parents' house. Not sneaky at all! Kids, you have to remember that parents are like the USSR during the Cold War and you're the U.S. You have to keep your activity top secret from them on pain of death. The internet is like the Ethel Rosenberg of party secrets - a double agent who will betray you and spill everything to the enemy.


Thanks to Bruce for this photo (F.Y.I. teen girls, guys like "Bruce" are trolling your photostreams...).

The Future Apocalypse Will Be Formal Dress Only

Awkward Hotel Hot Tub Party

This guys-only trip to Vegas turned out to be a little different than imagined. Do you think the black Sparks came from the minifridge?


Thanks to Matthew for the photo!

Jaeger Geisha

Polio once had a party and drank a whole bottle of Jaegermeister and barfed all over his roof (sorry Polio). At this same party, I was waiting in line for the bathroom and noticed a used condom lying just outside the bathroom door. I pointed this out to the guy behind me in line. He picked it up, smiled at me, and then slingshotted it like a rubber band across the room, splattering partygoers with semen. I found out that guy died by falling off a roof at a party a few months later.

When you think about how much pain and death and suffering there is in this world, don't you just wish you had a bikini-clad Asian woman to pour enough booze down your gullet to blot all the horror away for even just a little while?

Grad Night Party

This is the party where the chubby kid convinces the other two that it's their last night before graduation, and they really have to live it up by sneaking into the girls' locker room to sniff the cheerleaders' panties.

Party Crew

Suck On This

It doesn't work as well as garlic or holy water, but you can distract a vampire long enough to escape by giving it a keg tap to suck on.