Novelty Daquiris at the Renn Faire

Those giant daquiris they sell at amusement parks and the beach are such a rip. You think they're this amazing deal because they're only $3, but then you realize that there's no booze in them. So then you're stuck with a huge novelty glass of gross sweet slushy stuff, plus you feel like a total idiot for not knowing it was a virgin drink.

The only worse indignity is when you're at the Renn Faire and someone points out that they didn't actually have pina coladas at King Arthur's court. Or maybe she's drinking mead.

Remember Cuddle Parties?

This was the kind of thing that AM New York would love to write about. Lonely, disconnected urbanites in search of human touch getting together for a platonic cuddle party. Never really caught on, right? It was one of those hyped fads that never really existed. Like freestyle walking.

Dan Cortese, you fooled us big time. You and your bandanna.

Irish For a Day

Yes, I know it's not St. Patrick's Day, but this picture was too good to wait until next year. What an excellent example of the spirit of being "Irish for the day". I would like to show this to every idiot who doesn't think that you have to celebrate St. Patrick's Day if you're not actually Irish.

Sue, Lisa, and Grace here understand what it means to be part of a global community focused around novelty beer.

Party Hints: Boob Cake Age Limit

When planning a surprise party, a question many people have is, "when someone too old to get them a boob cake for his or her birthday?" It's safe to say the cutoff is about 25 years younger than this guy.

Possible exceptions to this rule include:
- if he's recently been release from prison
- after a nasty divorce
- if he's actually a manchild like Robin Williams in "Jack"

Let's hope it's one of those.

Party Hint: Wedding Guest Etiquette

Shirtless drunk arm-wrestling is usually fairly harmless. Unless you're like these guys, who are actually doing this at their friend's wedding reception (it's a little hard to tell from this single photo, but the it's from a whole set of wedding pictures). Which is pretty much a good guarantee that your buddy's new wife will never let him hang out with you guys again.

Home Brewed

I once watched an episode about home brewing on that show on the Food Network where the guy who looks like Thomas Dolby tells you all about how food is manufactured. The weird part about it was watching the guy drink the beer at the end and talk how much he loves beer. It was like when Martha Stewart drinks the cocktail recipes on her show. You know they're adults and probably enjoy a nice beer or cocktail, but something is so weird and unsettling about it.

It's freaky when nerds and old ladies are not just drinking, but talking about how great the booze is. It's like overhearing your coworkers poop in the office bathroom or something. You try to pretend that it's ok that we're all humans and we all poop, but really it's not.

Roofie Party

Jesus Christ, it's like triage in this limo. It's like someone set off a date-rape bomb.

This is the image that fathers everywhere are thinking of when they sit at home, polishing their shotguns, while their teenage daughters are at prom.