Love Rubdown

Why do I get the distinct feeling that the next words out of his mouth are going to be "Would you like a massage?"

Missed Connections

Have you ever seen someone across the room in a restaurant or crowded bar, and felt this immediate connection, but you didn't know how to say it? Perhaps the girl sitting at the table behind you, something draws you to her.

You felt paralyzed by anxiety, and couldn't find the words; yet you knew you both shared something that was so obvious and clear. Two plaid ships passing in the night.

Chug Race

Race to get out of Dad's garage's.

What Women Want

See the guy in the white shirt in the background, and the defeated look on his face? That's the look of realizing that everything he thought he knew about what women want in a man just flew out the fucking window.

Before and After

Thanks to Jory for his pictures of his transformative experience.

Reality Bites

On reality competition shows, contestants are always trying to prove to the judges and their other contestants how much they want it. There's always lots of discussion where the judge is like "I don't know if you really want to be here," and then the contestant says "I WANT this so bad I want it more than starving children in Africa want a hot meal and affordable AIDS medicine." This is something that isn't paralleled in real life. It's not like when you're at your job, your boss says "I'm not convinced you want to update this Excel spreadsheet enough." No one really cares what you want or how much you want it.

In real life, it's better not be constantly trying to show how much you "want it". Because you'll end up coming off like this:

What's a Catholic Priest's Favorite Cocktail?

A: A bloody hail mary!!!
Bet you thought this was going to be a pedophile joke, right? I'm ABOVE that.

Ok, who am I kidding? A priest's favorite cocktail is his own semen felched out of the anus of a 8 year old boy. With a celery stalk garnish.
Thanks to Reed who found this photo as one of the most recently uploaded Flickr pictures.