"This Party Is Full of Virgins"

In movies, nerdy teenagers will try any crazy scheme to lose their virginity; it's all they think about. That's all just Hollywood movie dust. Just look at these real life virgins - these nerds aren't even trying. They couldn't even give a fuck about getting laid. They have light sabers, for Chrissakes.



Making fun of people for being virgins is probably the best way to dis them. I'm not talking about purity-ring-wearing, Jonas-brothers-loving, saving-it-for-marriage virgins - there's nothing funny about that. At least those people have made a respectable choice and are sticking to it; unlike most of us who would hump an electrical socket if it giggled at our jokes long enough. I'm talking about people over the age of 18 who are probably not virgins. For example, next time you're at a party, just as you're leaving, say really loudly to your friend, "this party is totally full of virgins, let's get out of here." Or if someone spills beer or steps on your toe, just say "God, why do you have to be such a virgin?" Worst case scenario, everyone thinks you're a douche. Best case scenario, someone tries to prove it to you they're not a virgin. Face it, you're entire life is going to be flip flopping between those two scenarios anyway, so enjoy the ride.