Signed T-shirts

You might think that you'll never again wear that t-shirt that all your friends signed on the last day of summer camp, but you're wrong. It is the best shirt you own, and whenever you wear it, tons of hot guys want to lay you. It's your sure-thing-shirt.

Timesless

Aging Thai ladyboys will never not have a place in someone's heart.

"Wood" Paneling

I've said this before, but there's a plethora of photos on Flickr of people playing beer pong semi-nude. Is this something that's really common that I'm just missing out on? I don't get it. Strip beer pong?

Straw Hats

Total relaxation.

Smoke Gets In Your Eyes

One thing a lot of couples forget about when planning their wedding reception is the smoke machine. And what's a first dance to "Unchained Melody" if it doesn't look like you're at a Great White concert?

Have Another Slice, Dear

Foot Condoms

The only thing worse than fake tans, fake tits, and fake hair is fucking NUDE PANTYHOSE. I get it if you have to wear them for a formal event, but under no circumstances may you take your shoes off to show your nylon-sheathed toes.